Why Men Cheat Part II
In this article, we will focus on reason #2 as to why men cheat and find it necessary to step outside of their relationship.
In the previous article we explored the first reason why men cheat or, more specifically, why your husband is a cheater.
We talked about the mindset of a man with no integrity and
why cheating is his knee jerk response for various reasons.
Besides having little to no integrity, the person having multiple
affairs is simply a very selfish person. He is only concerned about his needs and getting those needs met, rather than being responsible, or keeping to his commitment.
The feelings and thoughts of another, and this includes his lover, is not as important as his own feelings of getting his physical or emotional fix.
The selfish characteristics of a cheater can also been seen in how he rationalizes his behavior. He does not care to take the time to see how infidelity or sexual promiscuity affects those around him and how it uproots the lives of everyone involved, from children, to spouse, to lover, and friends.
Unfortunately, a lot of women get stuck at this crossroad and can only find the strength to either blame themselves or the other woman.
Too often they forgive the man at the expense of the woman he has used and thrown away, just so he can return home and when it's convenient do it all over again.
If you are dating, or married to a man who is a cheater and possibly a serial cheater, your job is not to fix him.
First, your responsibility is to yourself.
When a man decides to cheat on his spouse, the consequences
these days can be deadly. The diseases he brings home, he shares with you.
If anybody has a right to be selfish in their marriage, it's the person who remains completely invested in maintaining a high level of mutual honesty, trust, and independence.
It is not the man roaming around on the streets, looking for the self he lost or have yet to know.
And for that reason, SELFISHNESS ranks in as reason #2 for why men cheat.
They cheat not because they care about their families or their wives, or even the other woman. They cheat because they are
avoiding the real work of solving their problems, in a mutual and mature way, with their spouse or partner.
Everyone has problems. Many of us are born into problem families so trauma and past abuse is no excuse for not taking responsibility for ones own actions.
The message that a man sends out to himself, his world, and his spouse when he decides to screw around is not only one of selfishness, but a sign that there's unresolved emotional baggage that HE needs to work through.
The mystery surrounding why men cheat, is really no mystery at all. From a psychological perspective, it's clear.
But what truly remains puzzling to me, is how someone with no personal integrity and such narcissistic tendencies can look in the mirror everyday and think that everything is just fine with his soul.
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