Husband Had An Affair

Your husband had an affair with some random woman he met a few months ago. You had no suspicion that he had or would ever do such a thing.

In fact, never would it have crossed your mind that just because you might have had some personal or financial disputes that he would betray you in such a hideous fashion.

Nevertheless, here you are today, faced with the shocking reality that the man you loved, committed your entire life to ... made your body, soul, and mind vulnerable to, has taken that trust and discarded it, much like the woman he used for a few brief encounters.

And he makes it sound as if the other woman was nothing to him. She just happened to be there and be available and according to him, he really didn't care anything about her.

This, unfortunately, is probably true but what he doesn't get is that if I'm the woman he cheated on and he's telling me that the other woman didn't matter, what does that say about me?

My husband had an affair to be with someone he didn't care for and I'm supposed to be relieved.

I should be happy that there was little to no emotion involved?

What he is really saying is that I married a man who can't be faithful to me and who uses other women for recreational sex. Period.

If your husband, or boyfriend, has shown some courage to admit to an affair without you having to ask, accuse him, or catch him in the act, he does deserve to be heard.

He gets brownie points because a very, very small percentage of men will ever admit to infidelity.

Having said that, whether you choose to forgive him and continue the relationship with him is another matter. Your situation is unique to you and only you know whether or not the pain and loss of the bond that was broken can be mended.

But let me leave you with this one thought as you start over, move on, stay together or whatever ...

When men cheat, they cheat for reasons that have been in the making for a long time. And to adopt a different mindset will require time, patience, commitment, and a true willingness to want to change on their part ... and yours.

If you choose to work it out, there are no guarantees that he will change and there are no guarantees that your relationship will ever heal from certain emotional wounds.

You are not to be blamed for his actions nor should you be responsible for his healing. No matter your marital problems ...your husband had an affair by active choice. He was not forced to fornicate!

If he never learns emotional awareness and responsibility to self, his actions will forever remain disconnected (in his mind) from the consequences.

Your husband had an affair. It's done and there's nothing you can do about it now except deal with the reasons why and the consequences of his and your actions from this point forward.

For me to tell you to stay with your husband through any and all trials would be irresponsible. I can only advice you to stay strong and to continue to listen to that small voice within because it's speaking to YOU and you will know what to do when you KNOW what to do.

Quote of The Day

"The glue that holds all relationships together - including the relationship between the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity."

Brian Tracy

woman and man couple