Controlling Relationships Involving Men and Relationships Often Result in Emotional Abuse
Controlling relationships... they're referred to as, because they are just that - controlling!
Control is not a sign that he loves you. Instead, It's another form of fear. Men control to get what they want.
And what they don't get through manipulation, they take!
Men and relationships ... and the women they control is a sad reality that a lot of women live with everyday. Many of these women will suffer emotional abuse.
It's sad because the woman ( and that might be you ) isn't free to do, be, and speak from a place of authenticity.
These beliefs may have been passed down from father to son, mother to son, peers, society, etc ...
And he is lost trying to find his own original voice. So he demands you in some subtle and not so subtle ways to do as he says because he is the boss!
He has been taught that he has clearance from the Man above to do as he wishes and your orders are to submit to him.
Women, in controlling relationships, experience emotional abuse on unimaginable levels more frequently than women who are only living in a stale relationship.
When a man assumes that a woman should be beneath him in importance and that he is the ultimate decision - maker in their relationship, he denies a large part of her. And likewise, she denies it too.
She ... YOU, believe that ultimately he will love you and you won't be alone.
You think emotional abuse is a small price to pay for security but eventually the emotional abuse left behind might require some counseling to correct.
At times you find yourself defending him because "nobody understands him," you tell yourself. This is a common response with men and relationships.
He needs you, you're convinced because you need him.
So you try and try to be this somebody else until emotionally you're so broken that you feel like a hollow shell of someone else ... someone you don't know.
He doesn't see that he's involved in controlling relationships and that he is doing all of the controlling.
In fact, he doesn't think there is anything wrong until you disobey him. As long as his wants and needs are met there isn't a problem.
But you see it differently...
You love this man but it's become very difficult trying to be all things to him all the time.
Plus, you're walking around on egg shells so he doesn't snap at you about something you did or didn't do - said, or didn't say!
You avoid disagreements because they turn into arguments and arguments turn into verbal abuse on his part, which results in more emotional abuse.
And the cycle continues ...
Until the day you wake up and recognize that this is no way to maintain a relationship.
You know that relationships are partnerships where two people are equally participating in the needs and desires of both parties involved.
This is a reality that a lot of men, and relationships that they have, overlook.
It's not that you want to end your relationship or that you don't love him anymore.
Controlling relationships aren't working for you anymore! Controlling relationships are costing you your freedom and your sanity!
What you do know is that if you are to remain sane, you must give up the belief that the only way to have this relationship work is for you to keep playing the role of another woman.
This woman doesn't resemble you at all, although your boyfriend, or husband seems to like her quite well.
You know that it's past time for her to go. You're ready to begin being real, or at least start making the attempt at getting to know where you begin and she ends.
You ask if it's too late to try ...
If it was, there would be no purpose for this site. It is never too late to start listening to your heart!
As you begin your journey to Self, take with you these beliefs...
1)Love is an action that is motivated by positive intentions.
2) Love is courageous. It is compassionate and understanding. It is not selfish ... but control is ...
3) Controlling relationships destroy true intimacy.
4) Emotional abuse is a serious matter that must be addressed sooner rather than later.
5) Men, and relationships of control, do a little bit of mental harm everyday to the women they judge in order to love.
Decide today if you want to be loved ... or if you want to be controlled?
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