A Codependent Relationship, according to the Merriam-Webster Learner's Dictionary is:
A psychological condition in which someone is in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship that involves living with and providing care for another person (such as a drug addict or an alcoholic).
A Codependent relationship is a type of dysfunctional relationship.
a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an addiction to alcohol or heroin): dependence on the needs of or control by another
Traditionally, women have been caretakers for the family.
The emotional support that a woman gives to her children and husband helps to provide a stable psychological environment where members of the family feel loved and connected.
It's a fine line to be drawn between unconditional love and acceptance and codependency. When does supporting a husband, who has emotional and psychological issues, become your problem?
Loving the people you love requires a commitment, but sometimes that commitment turns into an unconscious desire for control.
Taking care of family has become a sense of purpose for most women. A family becomes the "thing" that represents the woman to the outside world, much like the wife is for the husband's image.
Just because a way of doing something or being has become the norm, that doesn't make it the best thing to do for you or everyone else.
I say that to say ... so much of our family and romantic relationships are mirrored to us by the ideas of our culture, parents, peers, pastors, politicians, and whomever else we deem as important role models for our development.
At this point in the game of life ... the norm, seems to be one of codependency for us as a people and as a Nation.
So ... offering relationship help on ways to become something other than what you have become accustomed to being, may require you to deconstruct your entire method of thinking, feeling, and acting.
But if you are living a quiet nightmare because you love a man who beats you, cheats on you, controls you, won't let you be you ... then the effort it takes to unearth the dysfunctions that keep you bound to such a relationship might be worth the work.
Are You In A Codependent Relationship?
Seek approval from your mate Feel responsible for the behavior of your partner Take care of him at the expense of yourself or your children Giving ... to feel important or a sense of self Continue to give even when it hurts
Healthy relationships are connections of interdependence where both parties give and take, in matters of love, support, and respect. No one person continues to give while the other only takes, which is what happens in a codependent relationship.
Ways To a Healthy Relationship:
Recognition is usually the first step to change. You must first recognize that you're in a dysfunctional relationship. Decide, today, that you will do something about it. Get the professional help and resources available to help guide you out of the darkness and into the light of awareness. Do something good for YOU everyday. Forgive yourself for allowing someone to mistreat you. You were raised in a dysfunctional environment and this is how you learned to love. Always remember to remember ... it will get better if you never give up on you!
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