Divorce Relationships



Divorce Relationships are relationships that have ended or are on the verge of divorce.

They are probably one of the most intense of all the relationship types.

Simply put ... they are EVIL!

They are painful ... kids are separated, some turning against one or both of the parents.

Divorce relationships are shocking and painful!

Although you've been miserable for years, the thought that your life must go on without the person you thought you'd always be with is hard to wrap your head around.

The lifestyle that you had will no longer be ... and who you are remains a mystery to you.

He was you! You built, lived, and nursed that relationship!

How do you pick up the pieces of you that are left behind and move on?

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Divorce Relationships account for about 50% of all failed marriages.

And still, there are a lot of unhappy people living in unhappy relationships!

Some relationships have enormous marriage problems and no amount of marriage counseling or marriage help will save the marriage.

Fortunately, there are some couples who do manage to work things out and are now experiencing a healthy relationship. They didn't breakup and reconcilation was possible in their case.

Love ... they found was bigger than their differences and they went on to have a happy marriage.

And then there are the others ... the other 50% whose troubled relationship tipped the scale ...adding them to the divorce relationships statistic.

Divorce may or may or may not have been their only option... only they know. The reality is:

A happy marriage has a 50% chance of failing.

And if your marriage is one of the millions of marriages out there suffering this kind of grief and loss, life does get better.

Divorce relationships tend to break the spirits of those involved because so much has been invested in this partnership.

My advice to you would be to:

1) Feel the pain as long as you need.

2) Share your feelings with a friend or someone you're close to emotionally.

3) Develope coping skills to deal with the stresses that are apart of ordinary life.

4) Eventually you will have to let go of the anger.

5) Ask for help (professional) if you need it.

6)Always remember that LOVE is who you are ... not what you have. It's unwise to think that you can rush the process of healing that comes after a divorce. A loss is a loss and as humans, there are certain stages you go through during the grief and loss stages.

1.Shock and disbelief :

You're unable or unwilling to accept the reality of what has happened. You're in a state of denial.

2.Anger:

You get angry at God, your ex, yourself, anybody ... because you're hurting. This is where blame comes to rear its ugliness and where people do regrettable things to "get back" at a spouse or a loved one. This is also a stage where you take out your anger on yourself.

3.Depression:

It's common for some stages to repeat themselves or to come and go outside of the order that is prescribed here.

For example: You might have depression symptons before you get angry. You might skip denial and shock at first, only to experience it later after an episode of depression.

4.Bargaining: This is where you plead and beg a lover or spouse to do couples therapy or relationship management as a last effort on how to save your marriage.

At this stage, you might make a deal with God to give you what you ask in return for you to be a better Christian!

5.Acceptance:

Acceptance of the reality of, "what is" is usually the final stage of loss. After you've arrived here, you're more than likely on your way to recovering.

It's possible that you can be at a place of acceptance and still be angry. However, acceptance is seen as the first stage to letting go.

Reasons for Divorce:

  • Infidelity
  • Lack of Intimacy
  • Lack of Communication
  • Lack of Trust
  • Poor Conflict Resolution
  • Unreasonable Expectations

    Reasons for a Happy Marriage:

  • Fidelity
  • Shared Intimate Moments
  • Open and Honest Communication
  • Trust
  • Healthy Conflict Resolution
  • Acceptance of Self

    Marriages fail! Nobody marries another person with plans already made to end the relationship. Some couples are able to handle a divorce amicably and others, not so much.

    Children get hurt and are sometimes split up between parents. Friends feel forced to take sides and all this is happening as life continues to move forward.

    Divorce relationships happen ... for whatever the reason your relationship didn't work. You don't have to feel like a loser or a victim. And there's really no good in believing that it was years lost.

    I always entertain the belief that life presents to us many lessons ...

    Lessons that we can choose to learn as we experience the wonder of living. Sometimes those lessons are painful but it's usually the painful ones that produce the most healing if we allow it.



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  • Quote of The Day

    "The glue that holds all relationships together - including the relationship between the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity."

    Brian Tracy



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